What's with the Aussie accent?

In the 80’s Crocodile Dundee got an entire world to say “no worries mate” and dream about going on “walkabouts” in Australia. After him came Steve Irwin – the Crocodile Hunter – and taught us to exclaim “crikey” in surprise or bewilderment. Despite being colonized by English settlers – which is a polite euphemism for convicts, criminals and officers to uphold law and order - in 1788, the Australian accent doesn’t sound like British English at all. There are a number of stories about the origin of the Aussie accent but I have a favorite one that I choose to believe.

When the first settlers came – the scoundrels and miscreants I mean – to Australia, there were so many flies that people couldn’t open their mouths properly without getting flies into their mouths. They found a way to speak with their lips barely apart and thus avoided swallowing flies, mosquitoes and other flying insects. The self-preservation instinct is still to this day very much alive. Long words are shortened when possible. Presents are called pressies, barbecue is barbie, sunglasses are sunnies and so on. Some long words are changed completely into shorter ones: afternoon is called “arvo”, pick-up truck is “ute” and a cooling bag is called an “esky”. “An esky with stubbies” is a cooling bag with beer bottles – very useful to know if you are hanging out with Australian males. If you want to ask your friend what s/he is doing in the afternoon you say: “whas happenin dis arvo?”

                  Remember your sunnies when you spend the arvo at the beach!

Some words are abbreviated ad absurdum in my opinion. The polite “thank you” or the less polite and already abbreviated “thanks” is often reduced to a virtually nonexistent “ta” in Australia. Ta?! What’s next? Perhaps a single nod with the head can replace the “ta” so the mouth can remain shut? The already short word “ok” is frequently said as “k” which makes perfectly sense as forming the letter “o” with your mouth might let in a fly or two. Maybe a thumbs-up sign could replace “k” and you save your breath completely? Just a thought Australia! Or perhaps I should say “’stralia” or “Oz” – just in case there are any insects flying around…

                                                       Thumbs up 'stralia! 

Keeping warm in Melbourne this season?

The cold winds from the South Poles has once again swept in over the Australian state of Victoria and it is fair to say that winter is here. Being from Sweden, I would say that I am rather used to cold weather. But here it is: it is only cold OUTSIDE in Sweden, not INSIDE. And it is cold INSIDE in Melbourne. Our fancy air conditioning system upstairs in the house can be used as a heater as well and downstairs we got portable heaters. Melbournians seem to rely on carpets to keep their houses warm and by carpets I mean wall-to-wall carpets that have been superglued to a cement floor. Here’s a newsflash to all builders in Victoria: carpets do not keep the house warm. Better isolation and double or triple glazing do. The houses also stay cooler in summer with isolation and double glazing. Carpets do not generate heat, they generate dust and provide a home for dust mites.

A popular heat source in winter is the electric blanket. I cannot say if it is efficient or not as I have never tried and most probably never will. To me it sounds dangerous. What if there is a thunderstorm or a power failure? Will I not get electrocuted? We decided to with a safer option: buying winter blankets. My husband wanted to do this already last year but I rejected his suggestion. ”We live in Australia” I said, ”Everyone knows it doesn’t get cold here. Australian winter is like a bad Swedish summer day.” I stand corrected. It does indeed get cold and as I said, especially inside. We went to IKEA and got the warmest blankets they had for the entire family. And they are warm! Now we have to sleep with a bedroom window open instead. Normally my husband and I sleep very closely together, especially when it’s a bit cold, but this winter we are singing a different tune. “Move away, it gets too hot” and “You’re all sweaty” are the most uttered lyrics this winter season.

Mr and Mrs have found an alternative way to keep warm this season.

The bathrooms are particularly cold and humid but I have a little housewife solution for that. I light two tea candles – from IKEA of course – and they somehow manage to give off enough warmth to both dry up the humidity as well as making the bathroom reasonably warm. Come to think of it, I light lots of candles in our living room every night. “You know it would be cheaper just to run the a/c as a heater, right?” my husband asked a little while ago. Of course! But it wouldn’t be as cozy and snuggly every evening as it is now. I am counting the days until warmer days are here again. Only three more months or so to go….

       The demand for IKEA's tea candles is high this time of the year

Aussie fashion at a glance

I was recently flipping through the pages of a magazine and saw an article called ”Three ways to wear the skater skirt”. I have to mention that the magazine that featured this article was from the supermarket Coles and has lots of recipes and good advice on how to clean and organise your house as well as some beauty and fashion articles every now and then. The magazine is aimed at grown up people who do weekly shopping, run a household with children and want to get tips on cooking, cleaning and get a more organised life. The first way was with a knitted jumper – looked ok, nothing out of the ordinary. The second was with something that looked like a jeans shirt. Who wears jeans shirts today unless you are a cowboy? The third way got me smiling: it said to wear the skater skirt together with sweat pants for a ”really trendy look”. I remember when I used to combine a skater skirt with sweat pants. My hair was big and curly and my fringe had blond highlights. I had big, plastic hoop earrings and plastic bracelets in neon colors. That was 25 years ago and I thought I looked really fashionable. If anyone ever wondered what happened to the 80’s fashion with neon colored clothes, tights and spandex pants and blow waved hair à la Cindy Crawford I can tell you: by the end of the 80’s it was all packed away and forgotten, only to surface again 25 years later in Australia. Fashion for girls and women under 30 often includes neon colors and printed spandex pants. It didn’t look good in the 80’s and it doesn’t look good 25 years later.

 But there are of course plenty of shops with Australian brands targeting the women over 30. One of these shops is the award winning brand Cue that has elegance and high quality as their lodestar. Their designers must often get their inspiration from Julie Andrews in ”Sound of Music” when she tears down the old curtains and make play clothes for the von Trapp children. The fabric in many of their clothes look like it was hanging in some old mansion about a hundred years ago: thick, heavy, patterned fabric. Luckily not all their pieces are tailored from ancient drapery, there are some very nice designs in light and fresh fabric from Cue as well. I have several tops from them and they are very well made and I do indeed feel elegant and stylish when I wear them.

                                        Fraulein Maria - Fashion icon?

After 18 months of observation I have come to the conclusion that the preferred Australian style never seems to go out of fashion: track pants, shorts, t-shirts and flip flops. This is how most Australians, men and women, like to dress; no matter age or season. Ah well, it certainly makes it a lot easier getting dressed in the morning.... 

My fairy tale life... or thereabouts.

I have had a rather intense week with lots of chores around the house. The other day I started out with vacuuming and mopping the house, followed by dusting all the surfaces and ironing of the enormous pile of clothes that somehow always seem to be there no matter how often I iron. When the entire house was spotless and fresh and the laundry was neatly ironed and put away, I took out my sewing box and started mending my daughters’’ school uniforms and some other clothes. Then it struck me; I am not a Lady of Leisure, I am a middle-aged Cinderella. My castle is a newly built townhouse in a bayside suburb of Melbourne. Instead of two evil stepsisters ordering me around I have two teenage daughters who treat me like a servant most of the time. Or a diplomat and judge when I am called in to make peace or settle a matter or disagreement between the two sisters. There is a prince of course. He usually comes riding home on his white stallion - cleverly disguised as a black station wagon – around 7.30 every night, missing out on dinner with 45 minutes or so. The prince reheats the leftover dinner and usually tidy up in the kitchen. Then the prince continues with his noble quest – to solve problems, to please his customer and to keep order in his army of engineers. The two teenage daughters spend ample time on their iPads every evening, communicating with their friends over Instagram, Snapchat and Kik. Middle-aged Cinderella – that's me - is often very tired at night and goes to bed with a book, waiting for the handsome prince to keep her company in the bed. When the prince appears in the bedroom, several phone conversations, text messages and e-mails later, Cinderella is sound asleep – exhausted from all the housework and negotiations with teenagers who know everything better than their mom and are always treated unfairly.

 My life has always been kind of a fairy tale, I would say. This is just another chapter of my very own fairy tale, set in contemporary time in a faraway country. What happens in the next chapter remains to be seen. But I do hope there is some household staff included once again.... 

Reality check for mommy

The summer might not yet be over but the schools’ summer holiday most certainly is. We are once again back to our weekly routines. Youngest daughter is now also in secondary school and the other night the school had an information evening at school for the 7th grade parents. After some presentations by various school leaders all the parents went to their daughters’ classrooms – yes, we have chosen a girls’ school for our daughters – to get to know their homeroom teachers and the other parents. In order to get the parents talking, the teachers presented a number of topics like ”do you encourage your daughter to make a healthy lunchbox for herself?”, ”have you taught your daughter to operate the laundry machine?” and ”does your daughter use public transportation to go to school?”. It seemed like all the mothers were encouraging their daughters to make healthy lunchboxes – except me. Don’t misunderstand me, I do not encourage my girls to make unhealthy lunchboxes or eat junk food. But I do not encourage my girls when it comes to making lunchboxes at all since I make the lunchboxes for them. I have not taught them to use the laundry machine as I prefer the machine to be full and therefore save electricity, water, money as well as the environment. A reasoning that is immediately overthrown by the fact that I drive my girls to and from school every day. 

             My very own bread - healthy, delicious and baked with love

”All the other girls seem to be doing a lot of things themselves. Do I spoil the girls too much?” I asked my husband. Admittedly, my husband is a very biased man. In his eyes, I am perfect and almost incapable of doing something wrong. ”You are a fantastic mother” he replied, ”but perhaps you should let the girls take a little more responsibility.” The girls don’t make their own breakfast, when they wake up they sit down at the dinner table were breakfast is promptly served. In my defense, I have come a long way here. A year ago, I served the girls breakfast in bed every morning on school days and two years ago, I served them breakfast in bed while singing a ”good morning” song that I made up myself. Sadly I had to stop with that lovely morning routine as the girls thought my song was ”lame” and my singing voice was ”off-key” and ”hurting their ears”.

Brekkie in bed: pancakes with fruit compote and whipped cream. Good morning!

I understand that I need to teach my daughters some more useful skills other than making their own beds and put bread in the toaster. It is with some sadness in my heart that I realise my daughters are no longer little girls depending on their mommy to save the day; they are young ladies preparing for a life as adults. And as I slowly prepare them for their lives as grown ups, I have plenty of time to prepare myself for the day they move away. I reckon my girls will do just fine, probably better than I will...

My way of dealing with the ant invasion

Melbourne has recently had some very hot days with temperatures well above 40C. This means that it is too hot for anyone to be outside and everyone tend to seek refuge indoors – including the ants. This seems to be an issue all over Victoria at the moment, not only is the ant-problem discussed on TV and in the news, it is also a trending topic on Facebook which is always a good indicator to what is hot at the moment. With ant sand, daily cleaning and a large spray can of insect killer, I manage to keep the ant invasion to a minimum. Here is my question though: what is the point of using ant spray? Does it kill the ant with some chemicals right then and there or is it simply just drowning the ant? In either case, it seems quicker, cheaper and less hazardous to the family’s health just to use a wet paper towel and sweep up the ants. Or just crush them with your fingers if you see a couple of ants running around by themselves.

I am fed up with ants and am therefore posting a photo of a butterfly instead.

We came home on Monday after a long weekend up in the mountain area of Victoria. It was very hot and sunny even at 7 o’clock at night. Our aquarium-ish home felt like a sauna. I opened the pantry and discovered that while we were away, two shelves had turned in to regular ant colonies. Disgusted, I pulled everything out and sprayed for king and country. I was interrupted when a neighbor came by and asked if I wanted to join her for a walk. I accepted without hesitation and left my husband with the spray can and small puddles with dead ants scattered all over the pantry shelves. Forty-five minutes later – after the walk and a nice shower – I came out to the kitchen and my husband served me dinner. Shortly after he was done cleaning and organizing the pantry. Apart from the occasional ant, the pantry has been ant-free since then – touch wood.

                    While the husband was sanitizing the pantry....

Some reflections to start off the year of 2014

Another year has passed. I note that 2013 has been the first year in over 20 years when I have not been on an airplane. The last years I have flown about 10 times per year which is a lot considering I have a fear of flying. There is always something sad about a New Year; we have high expectations on how much greater the new year will be than the previous one and we make promises to become better persons and change our bad habits – promises we usually break after a few weeks anyway.

My New Year’s resolutions this year are more or less the same that I always make:

-          To drink Coke Zero only on weekends and public holidays. I usually fail on this one after a couple of weeks. ”Only this one” I say to myself and have a sip or two and when the weekend comes I am fed up with all the sips and stick to water. Hopefully I will be able to stay away from this addictive drink as I am not craving sugar and sweets anymore.

                          Fuelled up on sugar is a thing of the past

-          To show my loved ones with both words and actions how much I love them. This is not even a challenge, I do that every day anyway. But still, I think that showing love is fantastic. It is wonderful to love and it is wonderful to be loved.

                          "Love" is a beautiful message in the sand

-          To not buy any clothes, shoes or accessories for myself unless it is really, truly necessary. Here is the real challenge. I say this every year and I manage to keep it up until the next great sale comes up. This year however, I am very determined and I will do my very best not to give in to the first temptation. Luckily the Australian fashion is not exactly in accordance with my Scandinavian taste and I have disovered a new and previously unfamiliar feeling when browsing the malls of Melbourne: the feeling of boredom. The year of 2014 will be the year when my wardrobe will not get any new additions and I will have done something good not only for the environment but also for the family’s bank account.

                               Snapshot from my pre-Australian life

I would also take the opportunity to make the following statement: we are a family with a normal day-to-day life, living in a normal sized house in a bayside suburb of Melbourne. We do not run a ”Bed and Breakfast” nor a recreational home for young delinquents who think it would be great to surf, party and chillax in Australia. So do not send your derelict children to me, it has been a long time since Australia was a colony for ex-convicts and other criminals.

Happy New Year!