In the category "Weird Sandwich Spreads"

Many non-Swedes don’t like our Kalle’s kaviar, the number one sandwich spread among us Swedes. I guess you have to get used to this peculiar, salty, fish flavor from an early age to appreciate it. The Australian equivalent to our Kalle’s kaviar – in the category ”Weird sandwich spreads” – would be the Vegemite. When consulting the somewhat doubtful source Wikipedia we learn that ”Vegemite is a dark brown Australian food paste made from leftover brewers' yeast extract with various vegetable and spice additives developed by Cyril P. Callister in Melbourne, Victoria in 1922. Vegemite is salty, slightly bitter and malty, and rich in umami – similar to beef bouillon. The texture is smooth and the product is a paste”. We are always trying to, if not embrace, so at least explore, the local customs and traditions. ”When in Rome...” and all that. I got a jar of Vegemite at my daughters’ request and the entire family reached the same verdict: the taste is vile, VILE I say. Perhaps it would taste better the second time around? Nobody in the family wanted to subject themselves to the foul taste of Vegemite again so after six months the jar was eventually relegated to the garbage bin. However, Australians seem to love their Vegemite and will defend it until the very end.

Vegemite toast as portrayed on Wikipedia. Looks slightly inedible to me. 

Somethings you just need to get used to from the very beginning, like the Swedish Kalle’s kaviar and the Australian Vegemite. The Daughters who have never lived in Sweden, have their own favorite sandwich spreads: peanut butter either combined with raspberry jam or with banana. Or Nutella with banana, that works too. To me, these combinations are very odd and I have refrained from tasting but the Husband claims that they are ”delicious”. But I guess preferences in sandwich spreads are like most things in life: to each his own.

           Kalle's kaviar portrayed on Wikipedia: now we're talking! 

Daytime live drama on a Sunday afternoon

Did you think that our estate in this bay side, sleepy, Melburnian village provides us with an uneventful lifestyle? Well, think again! We’ve had disruptive, horrible party animals as neighbors for half a year, we have half-naked, littering neighbors, we have weed-throwing neighbors and we have a self-appointed supervisor – not me – who patrols the streets of the estate and takes notes of interesting facts about all the residents which he enters onto a spread sheet. Surprisingly enough, this fact-collecting, potential blackmailer is a man and not a woman, which shows that women are not the only ones interested in gossiping.

In our estate, anything you say or do can and will be used against you 

Sundays are usually very slow and this Sunday was especially slow as I am working on an essay and my family left the house to give me some hours of peace and quiet in my study room. I was very focused on the topic and being quite productive when I all of a sudden heard a car revving followed by screaming and shouting outside our house. My study is on the ground floor and I looked out the windows but all I saw was a car parked in the middle of the road, I could still hear the shouting: ”I know you are in there, come out you coward!” as well as what sounded like loud banging and kicking on a door. A woman in her mid-30’s, early-40’s emerged from the entrance to the neighbors across the street. Our friends own the house but they are renting it out to a couple in their 50’s whom are keeping a very low profile. So low in fact that I have been wondering if they are really living there, especially the husband who seems to be more of a frequent visitor. The person shouting insults and accusations out on the street was angry, nay, she was boiling mad. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. The couple renting our friends’ house came out from the garage to face the upset woman and she instantly threw herself over the man. He in return pushed her and she hit him and threw something at him which he threw on her car. The man’s woman, or perhaps I should specify by saying the woman living in our friends’ house, got into her car and tried to get away. The scorned woman then jumped into her car and tried to crash her rival’s ditto but luckily she came to her senses and the other woman managed to flee. The man quickly withdrew inside the house and the furious woman ran after him whilst screaming her thoughts on him and his woman using a very foul language. I could hear the front door once again being under attack. The closing scene of this little Sunday spectacle was the woman standing in the middle of the road shouting loudly for everyone to hear: ”HE’S BEEN CHEATING ON ME FOR TWO YEARS, THE BASTARD”. She got into her car and sped away at a high speed. I was very tempted to go knock on the couple’s door to urge the man to remind their visitor to respect and follow the 20 km/h speed limit but I realized that perhaps it wasn’t a good time. But if it happens again, be sure that I will be out there to tell him – even if he is in the middle of a heated argument with his betrayed wife and his mistress hiding behind him. There are kids playing on the streets in our estate. So drive carefully! And watch the language! 

 Sirens and the men they got their vengeance on....