A little something about the Melbournians

We’ve been more than six months in Australia now and I have been spending some time observing the local population, the Melbournians. This is what I have noted so far:

Australians love tattoos! Both men and women Or blokes and sheilas in Aussie English. There are more tattoo parlors than there are pizzerias. The fashion in tattoos seem to be ”the bigger the better” or ”the more the merrier”. Sheilas seem to prefer having their legs decorated by permanent ink, blokes have them anywhere visible. Sometimes I tell my daughters that I’m considering popping in to the tattooist by the school before I pick them up. They don’t believe me, I’m not cool enough. I have ear piercings though; three in the left ear and two in the right ear. That’s the level of my coolness.

Australians love to drink! There’s a liquor shop by every grocery store and there are a great number of drive-thru liquor stores as well. Liquor stores are also called bottlemarts – or bottle-o’s. Good to know is that ”hotel” doesn’t necessarily mean ”an establishment providing accommodation, meals and other services to travelers and tourists”. A hotel i Melbourne could also be an establishment providing food and entertainment with an adjoining bottlemart. There are always promotions in these shops with ”Buy 2 get 1 free” or ”Buy for AUD 75 and get 30% discount”. The Scandinavian governments attempts to get their populations to drink less have not influenced the Australians. My husband and I do not drink very often; a glass of wine with our dinner on Friday and Saturday every once in a while. The taste of sour wine, brewed in the bathrooms and laundry rooms of fellow-expatriates in Kuwait is luckily just a faint memory by now.

You need to put fuel in your car yourself, but you do get help when you want to fuel up yourself!

Australians love their AFL! That is Australian Rule Football, known as ”footie”. It is similar to American football and rugby; just less protection and more violence. The players’s outfits consist of very short and tight shorts and a tight, sleeveless t-shirt to show off tattoos and biceps. The two major clubs in Melbourne are Collingwood and Carlton. You will be asked which one you favor and judged based on your choice. This can make or break friendships. We get the question often and always answer: ”we’re new to Australia” and this is a totally acceptable answer and we are not pressured into taking positions.

                    The most Australian of sports and no, I do not watch it. 

I’d love to continue unfolding the truths about Melbournians but unfortunately I have to call it a day now. It’s Sunday evening and time to serve the family dinner. Bon Appétit!

How's your spelling and do you reply to all?

There are two occurrences that I would like to address in this diary entry.

One simple e-mail in my inbox this morning was all that I needed to get inspired. It was from the president in the school’s parent club. It read:

HI All,

        Parent club meeting tomorrow, if your about would relly love to see you all there.

When I had parent-teacher meeting with my oldest daughter’s English teacher I was very proud – yet somewhat surprised – that she is one of the best students in her grade. My daughter who is not a native English speaker, my daughter who has spent all her school years in American and British schools abroad, with less than a handful of native English speaking students in her class; she is passing her English class with flying colors. How is it possible that she is so much better than her Australian class mates whose mother tongue is English? I am surprised and appalled by the written English I see in e-mails, on Facebook and on blogs – all written by native English speaking adults. Have people forgotten the spelling we all learned in school? Is cyber communication to be blamed, that we no longer need to write correct sentences or even be bothered to check the spelling because the important thing is that we quickly get the message out and that everybody more or less understand the message? And how can we expect our children to spell correctly when we cannot even set a good example? 

This e-mail lead to another development that I frequently see. The e-mail was sent to 48 persons, most of us do not know each other and most of us cannot be bothered to attend these meetings. Many of the people who want to communicate with the president click ”Reply to All” and we all get e-mails like this that I copied and pasted:

Good morning, sorry unable to make the meeting as have gone away go

Why do people ”reply to all”? If it is a small group and we all have an interest in knowing if everybody’s coming like to a small luncheon or a brunch with friends – by all means, reply to all! But how can all 48 people on the list possibly have any interest in knowing that this unknown person is not able to attend? So please hear my appeal: do not reply to all unless all is expecting a reply!

Sand sculptures in Frankston - completely irrelevant to the text

Friday - the Swedish way

In the early 90’s in Sweden, a new tradition started to spread. In 2006, it had become a part of the Swedish phraseology and was added to the Swedish Academy’s Dictionary as a correct Swedish word, a noun to be specific. The phenomenon goes by the name ”Fredagsmys” and translated into English it would be something like ”Friday Comfort” or ”Cozy Friday”. The Fredagsmys is some kind of activity on Friday night together with family or friends to celebrate the end of the working week, to unwind and relax. People eat something special, perhaps drink alcohol and watch TV or a film. Last time we lived in Sweden, in the late 90’s, the typical Swedish family would order pizza and eat in front of the TV, with Coca Cola for the kids and red wine for the parents. For couples, the height of sophistication on Fridays was lightly cooked prawns, baguette and mayonnaise, accompanied by chilled white wine. The food trend has varied over the years and now since few years back, the typical Friday food in a Swedish household are tacos. Not the Mexican ones, the Tex-Mex ones with some Swedish adjustments.

 Now when we have settled in to our life in a Western society, we are making an effort to do something special to celebrate the start of the weekend. Since moving to Australia, my husband is less tired when the weekend comes as he is actually free when he leaves the office, meaning no phone calls or e-mails that need his immediate attention. I – on the other hand – am exhausted on Friday night from all the household work that I now need to do by myself in addition to all the driving of our Daughters to their schools and all their activities. On Fridays, we enjoy our Fredagsmys.

 On Friday our Oldest Daughter had other plans, she was going to the mall with her friends for shopping and dinner. Our Youngest took pity in her parents and stayed home with us. I made salmon toast and some other small dishes. My husband is a cinephile. With three girls in the house – all three of us have him wrapped around our fingers – he always puts on films that we like; tweenie movies for the girls like ”She’s the Man”, ”School of Rock”, ”Mean Girls” and ”Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen”. For me he chooses films like ”Notting Hill”, ”Pride and Prejudice”, ”Titanic” and ”How to loose a guy in 10 days”. I can very well understand if he suffers. But he does it out of love for his girls. This Friday I wanted to make my film-loving husband happy and I suggested we watch one of his kind of films that I haven’t seen, perhaps a classic? What is it with men and ”The Godfather” movies? Men always refer to them and quote them. My husband did not pick ”The Godfather” – thankfully. He picked ”Lord of the Rings”, the first one, ”The Fellowship of the Rings” I think it’s called. This is the third time my husband enthusiastically tells me about the books, about Tolkien himself and about the films. It warms my heart to listen to my husband who is so passionate about films. This Friday I broke my record; I managed to stay awake for one whole hour before I fell asleep on the sofa. A couple of more times and I will perhaps manage to stay awake and actually see the entire film. After all, all three ”Lord of the Rings” are considered to be epic movies. But then again, so is ”Titanic”... 

"I do, I do, I do!"

When I go to pick up my daughters in school, I always listen to a radio show called ”The 3 pm pick-up” – a very suitable name as many people sit in their cars at that time and go to pick up their children in school. Yesterday, the two ladies were discussion the trend of renewing the vows which is basically getting married all over again to the same partner without first getting a divorce. It is generally considered as romantic and a way to affirm one’s love for one another. Apparently Matt Damon and his wife are renewing their vows after 8 years as married and now their children will be able to witness their parents promise to love and to hold in sickness and in health. That's what they said on the radio, these ladies whom both found the trend to renew the vows to be "sooo romantic" and thought that everyone should do it at least once.

 I consider myself as a romantic, I like to tell my loved ones that I love them, I like candles and quiet dinners. I like giving little presents and I like receiving little presents. When my husband and I were newly weds, we said that on our 5th anniversary we should renew our vows – preferably in neon light blinking chapel in Las Vegas with an Elvis impersonator singing ”Love me tender” during the ceremony. We postponed it until our 10th anniversary. When our 10th anniversary came up we agreed that renewing the vows is both silly and ridiculous and not at all what we consider to be romantic. We had a nice dinner together with our girls and we both agreed that it was very easy to be married to each other, that we love each other more and more for each year and that we hope to stay married to each other for a very long time.

I do wonder about the renewal of vows; does it mean that you are twice as married as you were before? Like 200% instead of 100%? If you get a divorce, do you need to divorce twice? Is it really romantic to renew the vows? I mean, it’s not like the marriage will end unless you renew it every 10 year like a driver’s license.

We have been married for 15 years in August. We might not text love messages to each other or display our love and happiness in Facebook statuses. We light up every time we see each other, I get flowers on special days, I buy little thoughtful gifts for my husband every now and then and we hold hands in our sleep – and I think that is romantic enough for me. 

Easter break at a glance

Two weeks of Easter break are just about to end. It’s been good. Not exactly what I had hoped for on some accounts, just what I had hoped for on other. I have not been able to sleep in any morning because of the plumbers, carpenters and inspection people who have come every single day at 8 o’clock in the morning. We live in a brand new house that must have been built by apprentices and criminals doing community service instead of jail time. This time, they discovered that they had forgotten to finish a part on top of the house, meaning that every time it rains – which it does pretty often i Melbourne – it was like turning on a shower and letting the water drain between the outer and the inner wall of Oldest Daughter’s bedroom. No need to get into details, just trust me when I say that it was not a pretty sight when we moved her book case. Apart from the obvious nuisance with leakage and repairmen in the house, this disruption has created additional disorder in my life. I have not been able to clean properly in that part of our house and it is very stressful for a neat-freak like me. To have all these Jacks of all trades walk in and out of our house all day is tormenting the perfectionist in me. I want order, order I say!

                          Bedroom walls undergoing some serious repair work

My suffering soul got a well deserved break when we headed for the Victorian mountains for some days. My Husband had booked us into a nice resort that called themselves a spa-resort, naming their chalets names like ”Glasshouse” and ”House on the Lagoon”. We were staying in a Glasshouse that was ”on a more elevated location and had a clear view of all the surrounding mountains from the panoramic windows”. I have to commend the Australians on their ability to express themselves in such lavish terms. The noted elevation was a slope, the view from the panoramic windows was over a cow pasture unless you count the panoramic window in the bathroom that was indeed a loo with a view in case you wanted to admire the scenery while sitting on the porcelain throne. The lagoon was a tiny, slightly muddy pond. The ”spa” part was probably referring to the jacuzzi in the bathroom.

        The view from the loo with the "lagoon" behind the trees

We did like the little chalet, we enjoyed the nature and the beautiful scenery. I manage to impress the Daughters by knowing how to fish in the river with a fishing rod. Luckily we didn’t get any fish as cutting and deboning a fish is one of my many shortcomings. Husband and Daughters went horse riding in the mountains for an afternoon while I stayed in our Glasshouse with the panoramic windows (single glazing by the way and very cold at night), reading and watching Hugh Jackman in the film ”Australia”. We drove around in the mountains, went for little walks and enjoyed being together – just the four of us.

     Showing the Daughters that Mommy has done this before.

Back home in Melbourne, we were not surprised to see that the builders had not managed to finish Oldest Daughter’s room meaning I still have them coming around every morning. I long for the day when our home is free from construction negligence! I once again managed to impress my Daughters by teaching them the basics on using a sewing machine. All in all, we’ve had a nice Easter break and honestly, I will feel a pang of sadness when I drop them off at their schools on Monday. As I always do... 

My hiking shoes, I have a pair of those in case anyone was wondering

Ladies who Lunch, part 1

Many Ladies of Leisure are also Ladies who Lunch. On Wikipedia you can read that ”Ladies who lunch” is a phrase often used to describe well-off, well-dressed women who meet for social luncheons, usually during the working week. Typically, the women involved are married and non-working. Normally the lunch is in a high-class restaurant, but could also take place in a department store during a shopping trip. Sometimes the lunch takes place under the pretext of raising money for charity. I would say that Wikipedia pretty much nailed it. Being a Lady who Lunches do put a lot of pressure on you. Unless the other Ladies are very close friends – which they often aren’t in the typical expatriate world – you can consider every Lunch with the Ladies as a competition and the winner is the Lady with the most desirable handbags, shoes and outfits. The prize is the admiration – or more likely the envy – of the other Ladies.

                                     Ladies who Lunch - Stepford Style

When attending such a luncheon you have to make sure your hair and nails are neatly fixed. No Lady who Lunches with any self respect would show herself with chipped nail polish or messy hair. Put on a discreet makeup for a polished look and a fresh, light perfume. Your footwear has to match your handbag or some piece in your outfit. Don’t think that no one will notice if you neglect any of my good advice; trust me, they will notice and they will talk about it.

Has anyone ever told you that they love your shoes? If a Lady who Lunches says it, she probably isn’t saying she loves your shoes; she’s saying she loves your Choos. Jimmy Choo is the favorite shoe designer among Ladies who Lunch.Once a Lady said to me that she loved my  green croco flat Choos, ”they look so comfy”. ”Yes, they really do” I replied with a big smile. As soon as we sat down, I discreetly removed my shoes. Here’s the thing; Jimmy Choos are not comfortable shoes. Elegant? Yes. Can you walk in them? Barely. I have five pairs of Choos so I know what I’m talking about. The most comfortable of my Choos are my yellow Ursula heels but they seldom get to leave the dust bag in my shoe closet. But then again, Lunch with the Ladies is not about being comfortable, it’s about who has the most desirable wardrobe. 

                                This is Ursula. She doesn't get out very often.