Exciting night in Suburbia

Living in a Melbourne suburb by the sea might sound like a uneventful lifestyle. In the monthly local newspaper they report that a woman was caught by the police when she was speeding, driving 65 km/h on a 60 road and a man neglected to pick up his dog’s poop and has to pay a fine for his offence. In our estate we do have a bit more action though. Most houses are occupied by families with children but unfortunately some houses are rented out to very young people who share a house. This is a very popular living arrangement in Australia; some friends renting a place together. I don’t think I could live with friends other than for a couple of days, I want my privacy. I lived with a boyfriend when I was just a little over 20. It did not go well and we parted as enemies. He said it was my fault. After me, he has lived with friends and thrice with girlfriends. It did not go well and he parted with all of them as enemies. I rest my case. But let’s not dwell on my past life, let’s get back to the suburban life in Melbourne.

As I have mentioned in a previous diary entry, we have the bad fortune of having a group of young, ill-mannered, loud and potentially alcoholic girls for neighbors. They have the tendency to sit in their backyard – which happen to be facing our entire family’s bedrooms as well as 11 other families’ bedrooms – until way past midnight on weekdays and until dawn on weekends; talking very loudly, drinking, smoking and laughing. They have been warned by the company that owns the house, but they are not only a nuisance to the estate, they are incredibly stupid too. They continue their destructive path to eviction. At 2.30 in the morning on Sunday, my husband and I woke up by loud, drunken chatter. We looked out the window and there were people sitting in the dark in the blasted backyard. We closed our windows to minimize the noise when we hear a loud banging and we see a man climbing up on the roof of The Coo-coo’s nest, trying to open up a window. ”I bet those stupid girls lost their key, you can hear how plastered they are” said my husband. ”It could be a burglary for all that we know” I said and went to get the phone. Then I did what every woman in my position would do: I called the police and gave the phone to my husband. ”Why are you giving the phone to me?” he asked. ”Because I’m a terrified, defenseless woman and it’s your job to save the damsel in distress” I replied. When he hung up, I got an sms from our neighbor across the street, they had been woken up as well. The police came a couple of minutes later and we were all watching the event in the darkness of our houses. ”This is so exciting” I said, ”we should have called the police months ago”. I went to sleep and slept quite long in the morning, feeling very rested when I woke up.

The company that owns The Coo-coo’s nest has had enough and is now putting together all our complaints together with the police report, hoping that they will be able to evict the delinquents in accordance with the Australian law. We will celebrate with our neighbors the day these female hooligans are kicked out of the house. Time to start chilling the champagne I reckon...